Tools for breaking down  the Obstacles of Parenting

“Our world suffers from a herd mentality.  We see it at Christmas when parents rush out to get the latest” hot toy”.  We see it on Friday nights when audiences pack out the latest “hot” movie.  We see it in the investment world when everyone tries to buy the latest” hot stock“.  There is nothing wrong with toys, movies, or  investments per se.  But when we never separate ourselves long enough to look at the herd from afar, we can lose our perspective. ... When we find ourselves caught up in the herd and the panic of the moment, we can make poor decisions that have long term consequences.  As believers we need to be in the herd, not of the herd.....Jesus, our ultimate role model, never took His cues from the herd, but there was always a herd pursuing Him.”  Overcoming Overload by Stephen & Mary Farrar
Romans 12:2
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.

1.    Rely on the Lord
Proverbs 3: 5-6  Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.
·    In light of Dr Kimmel's discussion what does the phrase “lean not on your own understanding” mean to you?

·    How can we “in all our ways acknowledge Him”?
                    
2.    Know your limits
“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”  Philippians 4:13 Everyone is built differently physically and mentally which equips them to handle different volumes of stress and activity.  Be sensitive to you and your family's personality – you are unique.

3.    Create balance through Planning -Parenting with Purpose
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed” Pr. 16:3 This is walking hand in hand with the Holy Spirit on a daily basis. It is NOT making the plans and asking the Lord to bless them.  It is laying our family’s activities, education, recreation,  health – everything in His hands and asking His help to make the plans. Then they will succeed.

4.    Control your family's activities (rather than they control you)
·    Why are we doing this activity – expectation or fear
·    Who  is involved  - the family member (s) to participate -the organization leading the activity.
·    What is involved -  does it align with our family goals and priorities –  does it offer growth?
·    When – the time commitment and how it will affect the family schedule of meals, homework, sleep and recreation.  Choose activities that can “double up' with family members participating or location.  Try to make “Out - of - home” days all at once.
·    Where – how far does one have to go for the activity and the associated commitments.

Does our family have the time, energy and resources to do this activity.?
Does this activity renew or refresh – or is it a burden?     
These questions can help to also monitor technology and media in the family -  technology is a tool to be used – not for technology to control our family.  
                                                                
5.    Remember  - your children were not born with a tag that says “register me”!  Christ was not registered in any activities other than family.  The Lord placed these children in your care knowing you have what it takes with His help. Our role is to love, nurture, guide, mentor and teach – be relational.  You need not feel you have to be an entertainer  -  YOU ARE THE PARENT – BE THE PARENT!

6.    We are Human Beings not human doers  Your child is not in a race to the finish line.  Every child develops differently and the Lord knows the pace
Ps: 139:13-16    You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother's womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvellous - and how well I know it. You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion, as I was woven together in the dark of the womb. You saw me before I was born. Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.

7.    Create a support system of family and friends who also want to be “in the herd but not of the herd”  Christ did not want us to stand alone – it is why he created the body of believers and speaks often of the importance of encouraging each other in the body of Christ.
Hebrews10 :25    Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.